During the last week of the year, between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, I did a reflection exercise that looked back on the last year and looked ahead to the new year. Each day there were a couple of questions to reflect on like: ‘what were the highlights and joys of the year’, ‘what were the struggles and challenges’, ‘what am I hoping for in the new year and what I am apprehensive about’, etc. The exercise was interspersed with moments to stop and pray about these all things.
As I was thinking through all this and noting down my responses on the last day, some of what I had written seemed very small and inconsequential. There was a moment when I wondered whether God even cared about all these things. There is so much happening in the world that seems so much more important and significant, compared to the small details of my life. In a world of eight billion people, did God notice these small hopes and dreams for a year?
It was a despairing thought and as I moved on to complete that section, this was the prayer prompt that came up –
“Lord, show me a particular verse or a story from the Bible, or maybe a picture that you want me to carry into the new year.” (Lectio 365)
Amid my despairing thoughts, I was prompted to turn to the truth of God’s Word that reveals who God is and what He is like rather than give in to my own thoughts and feelings about God. On that day and during the week, God brought to my attention a story and verses from the Bible that I want to carry and remember through this year.
God Sees
Genesis 16 tells the story of Hagar, an Egyptian slave of Sarah, who is used and exploited by her mistress to conceive a child on her behalf through her husband Abraham. When Hagar does conceive, Sarah feels her contempt and deals harshly with her. Hagar flees from her into the wilderness, but she is not forgotten or unseen. The text says that the angel of the Lord found her by a spring in the wilderness (verse 7), asked her questions (verse 8), directed her (verse 9), gave her a promise concerning her son (verse 10) and listened to her affliction (verse 11). The name she was to give her son, Ishmael which means God hears, was to be a reminder that God had paid attention to her affliction when she thought that she was all alone.
Hagar names the Lord as “a God of seeing” and calls the name of the place as “the well of the Living One who sees me” (Genesis 16:13) because in that place she saw the God who truly sees her. The story of Hagar reminds me that no one and nothing is forgotten or unseen by God. God sees what no one else sees and a woman who would have been so easily forgotten because of her lack of status or agency was not forgotten by God. He is truly the God who sees, who sees all the big and little things.
God Knows
I’ve read Psalm 139 countless times and have even memorised portions of it but the familiarity of the words has often clouded over the wonder this psalm entails. When I read the words of the psalm this year I was blown away by verse after verse of how intimately God knows us.
You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
Psalm 139:1-12
The psalmist is almost complaining about how he cannot escape God’s attention even for a minuscule second. Not one thought or word or sigh is unknown to God. Being so fully known can be a scary thing but in Jesus we have a God who does not look at us in condemnation (Romans 8:1) but one who gave Himself up for us (Galatians 2:20) cleansing us by His blood (1 John 1:7) so that we can enjoy an intimate relationship of love and belonging (1 John 3:1). We are fully known by God, and we are fully loved by God.
In my despairing thoughts, God pointed me to people’s words to God in the Scripture which then became God’s word to me, telling me with certainty that He cares about the small and big things in our lives. My prayer is that I would never forget that our God is the One who sees and knows, and He cares always!
Photo by Esteban Castle on Unsplash
