Did the Pandemic Change Me?

The threat of the Pandemic wears thin, turns lean,

A muddle of gaunt days and anorexic dreams;

We heal from a year of promise that left us pilfered,

Of hope, of health, of humanity, of hugs unfiltered;

Did the pandemic teach me? Did it train me? Did it change me?

I didn’t un-fear the unknown - my breath often caught in my throat,

My mind wandered to dark places, in spaces alone, adrift, afloat.

Across the globe, it wrapped icy fingers, frigid as death,

Choking streets in stifling silence, a tight clasp of quiet;

We heal from a year of promise that left us pilfered,

Where the patter of feet, the chatter of children lay hindered;

Did the pandemic teach me? Did it train me? Did it change me?

I didn’t live my dream, as dreams delayed became the anthem retold,

On loop, put on hold while I held on, curious - would they ever unfold?

As neighbours played symphonies on balconies and tennis across terraces,

Prayers composed an orchestra of lament, while faith flourished in furnaces;

We heal from a year of promise that left us pilfered,

Church services and school lunches - indefinitely deferred;

Did the pandemic teach me? Did it train me? Did it change me?

I didn’t buy a business or learn a language or script a song,

Neither did the steps on my smartwatch come too far along.

And, yet.

A year so dramatic, so strange can’t leave you unchanged, unaltered, unruffled,

As plans unravelled, my bedside became an altar, and God remained unrivaled;

Now we heal from a year of promise that left us pilfered,

And in the stillness I find the joy of His love unfettered;

Did the pandemic teach me? Did it train me? Did it change me?

I savour the sweetness of the simple, I breathe deeper, I love harder,

I plunge the depths of uncertainty and unbridled fear,

And even there uncover the unrelenting love of my Saviour.

Photo by Chris Lawton on Unsplash

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Susan Narjala

When she's not smuggling chocolate past her kids or drinking gallons of coffee, Susan Narjala can be found writing, baking and (thinking about) working out. She grew up in Chennai, lived in Portland, Oregon, for the last ten years and is now back in India with her family. She finds nuggets of humour in the everyday, and writes about it on on her blog, www.susannarjala.com

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