I can remember the scene as if it was yesterday. I'm sitting in my small green chair beside my grandmother, and she's teaching me how to crochet a chain. Her nimble fingers deftly moves the crochet hook. The spool of yarn on her lap transforms into a pretty pattern. Then she puts her hook and yarn down and guides my little fingers. Patiently, she repeats her instructions. I was only in Class 2 then.
Growing up, I remember my mother used to buy me Anchor quick stitch kits to work on during the summer holidays, and my aunt used to send me cross stitch kits from the US. I loved doing needle work.
I went to an all-girls school and had a very happy childhood doing plenty of girly things. I loved the English language and excelled at it right through school. Yet I chose maths and computer science in my eleventh standard, so I could be in the same section as my friends. In those days, I never thought about how I was wired, or about my likes and dislikes. I loved to cook and keep house right from my teenage years. But I chose to major in computer science in college. I never put much thought into my decisions, while choosing my subjects. Since I was from the south of India, I assumed we had only two options. Either we did maths with biology or maths with computer science.
When I look back now though, I can see my life as a piece of cloth in the hands of a weaver. Every skill set acquired, every subject learnt has never gone to waste. The Grand Weaver has been patiently working out a pretty pattern, a beautiful design. I can partly see the need for the French knots and backstitch. I see the need for the blacks and greys in my life. They are all part of the big picture, the master plan that God has for me. And it is beautiful!
I have worked with commercial sex workers in Chennai, teaching them to crochet handbags after we brought them out of the flesh trade. I have worked as a volunteer in Dallas, helping retired seminary wives run a store for seminary students. And I have worked in Delhi with a few social outreach organisations. But I’m primarily a house wife. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for the last 13 years. Yet, I have thoroughly enjoyed the work I have done up until now. Right from holding my babies and rocking them to sleep to working with underprivileged women and teaching them a skill.
Now does this impact the kingdom of God? Is my work even significant? I believe the answer is a resounding yes! Whatever be my talent or my personality -- if I am willing to allow God to use me, I believe he accomplishes much through me.
While I was in seminary, I took an MBTI test and found out that I was an ESFP. I feel recharged when I’m with people. No wonder I enjoy working with people more than working on a computer. I can host people who show up early for bible study and engage in chit chat while my introverted husband recharges in the room before he meets the ‘crowd’. Recently, I also took a spiritual gifts test and found that my spiritual gift is hospitality and helps. These tests are available online and can help you find your spiritual gift and personality type. It’s best if you do it with the guidance of professional. They give you an idea of what your personality type might be and what your spiritual gifting might be.
On an interesting note though, Timothy Keller in his article ‘Discerning your Calling’ talks about finding your spiritual gifts in the context of the community around you. He says that these factors can help you identify your calling and gifting.
1) Affinity—“Look out.”
What people needs do I vibrate to?
2) Ability—“Look in."
What am I good at doing?
3) Opportunity—“Look up.”
What do the leaders/my friends believe is the most strategic kingdom need?
These are good points to remember while we try to figure out our own gifting and calling.
Most often, I have used these gifts in a ‘volunteer’ capacity. I have learnt so much from every experience, and have come back greatly refreshed. When we look at 1 Peter 4:10 it says, ‘Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.’
And when we do that, when we are willing to serve others with our gifts, God is glorified. Whether we teach Sunday school or help in the worship ministry or sit with underprivileged women and children and help them learn a trade, it has eternal significance in the kingdom of God. It doesn’t matter whether we are ‘just’ stay-at-home moms or working women. As long as we are willing to use our gifts and talents to serve others, we are impacting the kingdom of God.
And so the Grand Weaver continues to work the loom of my life. I, on the other hand, have the privilege of seeing the kingdom picture emerge.
