Ever so often, I hear of a friend who has climbed up another rung on the corporate ladder or added yet another feather to her hat that is starting to resemble a peacock’s plumage. I cringe inwardly because I don't seem to have anything worth mentioning other than Executive Dishwasher, Chief Chef, Head of Department - Laundry and Housekeeping, aspiring baker, despairing gardener, finder of all things lost...the list fizzles out as does my self-worth.
As I speak and find solace with others sailing in the same boat as me, I realise that most of us are weighed down under the burden of wanting to do more with our lives, tinged with regret that we are not putting our educational degrees to better use, while wallowing in the guilt that we are not doing enough or doing too much for our family or are being taken for granted. And don't even get me started about the Insta-worthy homemakers and homemaking hacks that we are supposed to be inspired by … that would avalanche into another write-up altogether.
Many of us feel like a modern-day Martha, rushing around doing all the right things, cooking nutritious well- balanced meals plated to perfection, searching for the inevitable missing sock in every pile of laundry, washing up, cleaning up, tidying up, being a hospitable hostess, having a welcoming home that is spic and span, grocery shopping while chatting with a friend, figuring out the next day’s meals while supposedly watching a family movie, mentally checking off things on our never-ending to-do lists…. And the whole schedule plays out on repeat.
I've met stay-at-home mums who despise their current state, mums who can't wait to get back to their office spaces, and mums who are exhilarated to be the backbone of the home. And I have been all three in the blink of an eye, depending on my fluctuating state of mind.
I have the utmost respect and awe for family and friends who expertly manage the home and juggle a career, among other things. But at this point in my life, I am content to be at home - housewife, homemaker, stay-at-home wife and mum.
When we made a conscious, prayerful 'leap of faith' that I would give up my job and devote myself to keeping home, I was nervous, excited, anxious, and sceptical, among many other things. But heeding God’s voice and the prodding of wise well-wishers, we chose this path - a decision I am truly grateful for but also a choice I used to waver about.
I have often wondered to myself and aloud in several instances: Does being a stay-at-home wife and mum demote me or cloud my identity? Then, during those soul-searching conversations with hubby dearest, he reminds me and continues to (thank God for him!) remind me that my identity as a child of God cannot be attached to my credentials or the career path I aspire to carve or even in being a homemaker worthy enough to be featured in Good Housekeeping. I am what He calls me to be - His beloved child. Nothing else or no one else should change that!
I have changed my mind about questioning the sanity of the decision we made years ago. Through trials and tears, in thanksgiving and gratitude, I am learning what it means to be a faithful steward of what He has entrusted me to do. To be joyful and content and wholeheartedly embrace my identity as His child has helped me change how I perceive myself and my role in building up my home.
I have come to realise that there is only one place of rest, and that is in the Saviour’s presence and in His life-giving Word. And as Mary did, we have consciously and determinedly made time to listen to the Master's voice above every other clamour and din.
I am reminded that He calls me by my name. He knows my anxious thoughts before they become words on my tongue. He knows my sitting down and lying down; my days were established by Him even before the foundations of the earth came to be. He is a God who looks at our heart, while others may assess us differently, loved ones included.
For those of us who feel invisible, may we remember His eye is upon us. For those of us who feel insignificant, may we be reminded that the King of kings calls us His beloved. When we are weary of doing good, may we be encouraged to continue to do right by God, that He takes notice of us even if no one else does. Though we do not have official ‘days off’, He has called us to find our rest in Him.
In our line of work, no ‘Exceeds Expectations’ accolades or 'Employee of the Month' awards are handed out at a glitzy ceremony. But one day, I hope to be welcomed with a 'well done, good and faithful servant’ acknowledgement.
In the meantime, let me embark on that never-ending quest to find that missing sock!
Prov 31:10-31 provides glimpse of the truly important traits of womanhood, contrary to the world’s view. As a single woman, never married, no children, (not intentional—it just worked out that way), I can attest that careers are not the end all, be all of life. When the career ends, life moves on and accolades become vapors. There is no greater accomplishment than raising children to be well-adjusted adults and making a loving home for those you love.
As followers of Christ, our fulfillment is in Christ—far more precious than careers and worldly accolades.
Blessings be upon you and your family.
Amen to that!
Amen to that!
Well written, aptly captures the mind and emotions of a stay-at-home mom. Something our society fails to acknowledge. The stay-at-home mom is the epitome of self sacrifice and an important pillar of any civilised society. My regards and appreciation to Anna Jacob.
Thank you..
Thank you so much for this! This article resonated with me so much ..I often “cringe inwardly because I don't seem to have anything worth mentioning”…but praise God for His timely reminders that we are HIS and called by His name! Praise God!
Praise God for His affirmation! Grateful it struck a chord!
Thank you so very much for this beautiful write up, we )me and my husband ) recently paused and I have left my job, many more challenges appears than before as a working women, being solely dedicated to family and child is much more tough that being a working lady, every morning is a new challenge and a new opportunity too.
Privileged to be one and honoured read this.
Thanks a million
God bless you and family
Truly humbled to hear that this spoke to you.
It is indeed a journey of faith and His mercies are new every morning... That keeps us going.
God bless and keep you!