Psalm 139 is probably one of the most majestic and loved chapters in the Psalms when it comes to baby showers, birthdays or dedication days. Each verse is read out, felt and applied with deep comfort and thought about how an all-knowing God knows the tiny little being who is about to make a grand entry into this world. As a first-time mother, I had this verse memorised and even had my baby’s first handprint on this verse. It sat very well with the theme of how God has fearfully and wonderfully designed her, so all her baby hand wrinkles looked super cute on the thin sheets of the Bible in that particular verse.
It was and still is a divine moment for me every time I open the Bible to that page. I like to be reminded of how she was thought of and made intricately with detail in the womb. Even before I could see her or envision her - God was at work. The God who 'knows when I sit and when I rise, who perceives my thoughts from afar' (Psalm 139:2); the all-knowing God whose 'eyes could see the substance, being yet unformed' (Psalm 139:16); 'all the days ordained for me were written in your book before ONE of them came to be' (Psalm 139:16b) not only shouts out that God has a plan and purpose for our children and us, it also shows that the all-knowing God has a plan that is being worked out, without us even having a clue.
Yet, no matter how much we adore these verses or have read them out, I must confess to forgetting their power just as quickly. Over time as diligent parents, our job often becomes about giving our kids the best toys, experiences, education, and whatever we can grab, because somehow we make it all about ourselves and want to “BE” the most perfect parent the world has ever seen.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to pursue great things for our children. But there is another truth to the story that we often don’t acknowledge. Just the fact that our children are living in this imperfect world means they are going to face uncertain days and moments. Our bubble of a perfect comfortable world will have shortcomings, and our children will face some hard days. But we fight against those forces with all our strength, forgetting that the all-knowing God is still there, and still in charge. I quickly forget that God knew this child even before we knew them as parents and that God is writing a story in and through them.
I often forget that my children have independent little stories rising from my story. I try to make the perfect world for them and am quickly crippled with fear when they face challenges. I want to go fight with every bully they are facing, manoeuvre their friends' circle, and constantly exhaust myself “trying” to fulfil all the desires of their hearts while forgetting the bigger picture of how God is allowing them to experience the good and the bad and is building a personal relationship with them through these moments of sadness and failure.
People with older kids know how things get more real and adventurous as kids grow up because they have known us for years now, and they are like walking X-ray machines that can see through our souls. You can't just go into a room, close the door and quietly argue with your spouse, not expecting them to smell the tension in the air. It gets harder to dodge them with every passing year, which would therefore mean all my aspirations and dreams of creating this 'perfect' space for our baby is non-existent. Instant failure creeps in, you realise you aren't enough, and no matter how much you try, this child will face its share of challenges and problems and see through the ugly reality of life this world has to offer.
YET, the most significant assurance we have as parents and individuals is the hope we have in Christ. When we, as parents, realise and believe God is in charge of their lives, it is freeing. We cannot be perfect, and we cannot create a perfect ambience for them. Still, when they fall and bruise their knee, go through exam stress or sibling rivalry, or see the financial stress at home, it is okay for them to experience it, knowing they are loved and cherished by their Maker. When they look at a perfect Saviour, they would learn to depend on and seek His comfort. So, the best gift we can give our children is not only to introduce our children to Jesus in a real sense but also for us as parents to trust Him that 'How precious to me are your thoughts..how vast in the sum of them' (Psalm 139:17).
Psalms 139 is very real and comforting to parents in all seasons - from the womb to a 2nd grader, from a teen to an adult. He is writing a story through their lives, so their experiences matter, the good, the bad, and everything in it is part of His grand plan. I love the way Psalmist ends with, 'Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting' (Psalm 139:23-24). This is my prayer too!
Photo by Tá Focando on Unsplash
Good!
Nice nice! I heard this all before somewhere. 😉
Such good thoughts and wonderful reminders!
We as parents need this reminder, “God is in charge of everything”.
Nice article!
Great post Tania. The world is not yet remade so in this world we and our children will have trouble. Keep writing!
Beautifully written Tania!
Yes! Thank you so much for your encouragement 🙏