Trusting God’s word and relying on His unending compassion is one of the beautiful aspects of the Christian life. Having known and experienced the goodness of the Lord since childhood, my life has been a wonderful journey. Being born into a family that showered me with unfailing love, my heart brimmed with gratitude. What more could I ask for?
I shared a very special relationship with my mother. She was everything to me— a confidante, counsellor and teacher. She not only made me feel special but also took great pride in my achievements and her presence gave me a profound sense of security and happiness. Both of us spent a lot of time together and the conversations we had were always centered on hope, faith and the miracles that the Lord had performed in our lives. She was a wonderful woman of God and an avid reader of the Holy Bible. It was because of her that I took interest in reading the word of God that eventually strengthened my relationship with Him.
My relationship with the Lord was strong and beautiful for I believed He heard every single prayer of mine and answered them at the right time. I firmly believed that His grace and favour surrounded me in all aspects of my life and was crucial in helping me accomplish whatever I aspired for! Right from my school days, I started spreading the love of God by sharing my testimony with my classmates and this continued even during my college days.
One of the significant lessons my mother taught me which I believe is a key element for a successful Christian life is excellence. She believed that by excellence you honour God. This stemmed from the belief that He is the one who assigns each of us with different tasks and when we excel in performing them we not only honour Him but also show how much we value His presence and guidance in our lives. This was certainly a motivating factor in my life and I started performing all my tasks diligently.
Life seemed to be so beautiful and almost every day turned out to be a testimony.
Everything was fine until I was diagnosed with Covid in April 2021. I suffered terribly and even thought I wouldn’t live long. The fever made me physically and emotionally weak and suddenly the joy in my family was lost. My parents and brother were praying fervently for my recovery. Needless to say, my mother was shattered and I was deeply wounded to see her suffering from emotional pain because of me. I had always been a reason for joy in her life and I couldn’t bear to see her deeply saddened by my health. This guilt was tormenting me but I knew my Lord would surely perform a miracle.
I finally recovered, thanks to the prayers of my parents and brother. Unfortunately within a week, my mother tested positive for Covid and it was very severe due to her age-related factors and comorbidities. Though I was out of Covid, I was still suffering from physical weakness exacerbated by the emotional pain of my mother’s sickness.
I cried out to the Lord and our whole family was waiting anxiously for a supernatural miracle. Our faith was strong and undeterred by her worsening health condition. We were hoping for the best. Unfortunately after battling with the disease, my mother passed away. I was standing close to her when she took her last breath. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I felt defeated and a thousand questions kept flashing in my mind simultaneously opening a floodgate of emotions.
Did my Lord fail me? What happened to those intense prayers and tears that I had been shedding in His presence? Was He not the Lord who saved my mother from so many dangerous situations? Then why had He forsaken her now? Questions were piling up in my mind but no answers were to be found.
Finally, I went back to the word of God that gave answers to all my queries but also the much-required solace amidst the storm that I was going through. I read the Old Testament and closely scrutinised the lives of godly men who had been my source of inspiration - Joseph and King David. God chose both of them for a greater purpose and we all know the wonderful plans He executed in their lives. It was true that God had allowed adversities in their lives. Certain periods in their life, it appeared as though they failed big but those served to be the crucial moments that truly tested their faith in the Lord.
During those darkest moments of their life, they never questioned or complained but silently endured the pain; and the most beautiful aspect was that they enjoyed Lord’s presence even amidst the agony. I started taking comfort in Lord’s presence and holding on to His promises. I realized that the Lord wouldn’t have allowed this pain without having a greater purpose. Though I couldn’t understand His plans, it didn’t stop me from trusting His goodness that I had experienced so far. I started looking at the past with thanks and approached the future with hope.
I spent more time meditating upon God’s word and realized that He was gradually filling in the void created by my mother’s absence. Reading the Psalms was therapeutic and I also realized what a good friend, counsellor and teacher our Lord could be—the same roles my mother played in my life. I also started taking hope in the eternal life that promises me of a reunion with my mother and everlasting joy in the kingdom of our God and saviour Jesus Christ.
Though my mother’s untimely demise tested my faith, I reconciled with the fact that if God had allowed this in my life, He would take me through this difficult phase as He had done with Joseph and David. This strengthened my faith in the Lord and I approached life with new vigour. I realized that faith is powerful and every time it’s put to the test, it becomes stronger and adds beauty and meaning to our lives:
"Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. It is the belief that God will do what is right."
- Max Lucado