I rarely hear the word “hospitality” without thinking of Mr. David. For me, this eighty-something-year-old Mississippi war veteran is synonymous with the practice. When my (not yet) husband arrived in Jackson, Mississippi, from Bangalore in 2013, he was received with open arms and homes by the lovely saints in the church Mr. David attended.
The congregants of this church are even notorious for “fighting over” who gets to invite new guests home for Sunday lunch. Through our dating and early marriage years, I was blessed to get to know many of these church members as well. One table I was invited to time and again was Mr. David’s. These are three lessons I learned from him that I hope will encourage you as well.
I was always struck by the variety of guests Mr. David would, without fail, assemble for lunch every Sunday. If you were looking for a rhyme or reason to the group you were invited alongside, you wouldn’t find one. Mr. David didn’t arrange his hosting based on groups that naturally meshed well. He didn’t try to create groups that would more naturally converse based on interests or stage of life. He didn’t try not to create groups like that either.
As far as I know, he just loved people, took Christ’s calling to serve them through hospitality seriously, and invited to the dinner table anyone who came to mind that week and who he thought would fit. A Sunday lunch might look like a couple of international seminary students, a college student from the local university who was visiting the church for the first time, an older couple who had recently relocated to Mississippi, and an older long-time saint from the church with her visiting daughter.
Almost every time we received the invitation, there was at least one person at the table we didn’t know very well, if at all, coming in. We always left knowing them much better and loving them with more knowledge of their unique personhood.
Of course, in our calling to show hospitality, there might be times when exclusively inviting a certain age group, gender, or stage of life makes sense (a young mom’s Bible study, gender-based discipleship, a gathering for young professionals in the church, etc.). However, I have found the sweetest and most rewarding moments of hospitality in the ones Mr. David orchestrated each week.
In these settings, I was able to share life with saints I probably would not have otherwise “clicked with.” Thanks to Mr. David’s table, I more clearly see the value and beauty of brothers and sisters in the Lord and image-bearers joining together with possibly nothing else in common but those most defining characteristics.
So, be like Mr. David and don’t worry too much about the possible cohesion of your guest list. Invite a few different people from your community home each week, so they might be blessed as they get to know one another as well.
Something else I learned from Mr. David is how to show hospitality while being true to who God has created me to be and to the stage of life he has currently called me. Though a fascinating man, Mr. David would not be described as a bubbly host or entertainer. There were no “get to know you” questions, no elaborate introductions. Each time someone new comes to his home, they “pay their fee” by visiting his room of war memorabilia and hearing about his various adventures.
While incredibly kind and tender, Mr. David is also gruffly masculine and quiet (until you get him started telling one of his amazing stories)! Though Mr. David wasn’t jumping in to break “awkward silences,” or even serving as the major initiator of conversation between his guests, we knew the love of Christ through him every time we gathered in his cozy dining room.
It was in these sometimes clumsy moments around the table that I saw the deep beauty of the body of Christ. Glitter and charisma are not needed here, just bodies and souls hungry for fellowship and belonging. I learned from Mr. David that every child of God can be a hospitable and faithful host, aiding guests in finding such belonging together in Christ (awkward “get to know you” moments included).
Also, though in better shape than many half his age, Mr. David is quite an elderly man. When my husband and I were in Jackson, he wasn’t in the stage of life to host elaborate get-togethers. Each Sunday, his guests helped set up the table and put the finishing touches on whatever incredible one-pot dish and salad was being served, gathered around the table for prayer and fellowship, and ended with coffee and dessert before heading home for a Sunday nap.
He is now in his nineties with further health struggles. However, my husband called him tonight to tell him about this article, and Mr. David happily informed him that he’d just made his famous spicy chicken chilli for a group of guests who were “tearing up” due to the heat. He continues to host Christ’s people, however and whenever he can, with his own God-given limitations. Like him, let us seek to show hospitality, no matter our personality, apartment size, cooking ability, or spiritual gifts.
Finally, I learned from Mr. David that there are many ways to show hospitality. Food is a great starting point (and I would argue that, to some degree at least, coffee must be included in a gathering!), but having someone home for lunch isn’t the only means of exercising hospitality.
In our friendship with Mr. David, he would have seminarians and others over for movies and burgers (usually more war movies, which we weren’t complaining about) or cooking lessons to learn some of his famous recipes.
He would invite the guys to join him at the gym. He also took my husband and me to at least two operas while we were residing in Jackson (the man is versatile)! Mr. David understood that hospitality was better than entertainment and more than just a meal. It was any opportunity taken to show the warmth and welcome of Christ to friends, neighbours, and strangers. His creativity in hospitality (without an agenda to be creative) still teaches me.
I have learned that hospitality in Christ can be practiced in the quiet of a coffee shop conversation, during a morning walk with kids running circles around you, or through a church member crashing on your couch for the evening (willing to be woken by the same rambunctious kids the following morning).
So, invite a “random” group of people over from your church family this month. Serve out of the life stage and with the personality God has given you. And see your definition of hospitality grow from merely “having a meal” to any opportunity to tangibly extend the warm touch of Christ to his people and those yet to know him.
My husband never had the joy of meeting either of his grandfathers. However, he found a “grandpa” in the Lord who loves him deeply in Mississippi, and it all started with an invitation to Sunday lunch.
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