What comes to your mind when you think of hospitality at home? A Pinterest-perfect living room? An Insta-worthy meal?
Being somewhat domestically challenged, I always thought hospitality wasn't my cup of tea (pun intended). But then I realised that the condition of my living room doesn't really matter when people feel comfortable in it. Being a friendly host and welcoming people as they are—that doesn't require a PhD in hospitality!
I've seen gracious hosts throw their humble homes wide open for large groups week after week. They have helped me appreciate the beauty of gathering together and experience first-hand how essential community is for discipleship.
Growing up as an only child, I was always comfortable staying alone for hours. And after I had kids, I became that overstimulated mom who desperately needed her "alone" time. What a surprise that I now deeply desire hearty conversations and regular "people" time!
If you long to foster intentional community in your home, yet feel overwhelmed by the idea of hosting, here are a few tips to get you started.
Since I married a man who loves having people over, I'm no longer taken by surprise when we have unexpected visitors. I used to stress when our house wasn't company-ready. But after many instances of welcoming guests with a handful of wailing toddlers and an overflowing kitchen sink, I've learnt it's okay to let perfectionism slide and just open the door.
When the kids were small, our living room was invariably cluttered—toys everywhere, furniture rearranged into a makeshift jungle gym, pillows strewn around to break falls, and crayon "art" on the walls. It helped us master the art of speed-cleaning when people unexpectedly turned up!
Our living areas are now fairly tidy (except for the random dog toys, guitars, backpacks, books, and Bibles lying around). So, when visitors suddenly drop in, it only takes a few seconds to make space for them to sit down and feel at home.
It took me years to learn how to make a decent cup of coffee or tea, especially for larger groups. Eventually, I realised that it doesn't matter how good the chai is; what matters is the environment in which it's shared. The community and conversations that a cup of chai encourages are far more important than stressing over the perfect brew. In a pinch, a batch of Tang works too!
After 19+ years of running a home, I can confidently say I'm a terrible cook. I have a knack for messing up even the simplest recipe. Yet some gatherings call for a home-cooked meal, so I learnt a few basic dishes that I repeat whenever we have guests over. And when I'm unable to cook, we don't hesitate to order in.
A large gathering at home can sometimes overwhelm an introvert. But as Phylicia Masonheimer writes, “introversion” is not our identity; “follower of Christ” is.
My tip is to be fully present as people stream in. But if sensory overload creeps in, I sometimes slip away to the kitchen to make chai, wash the dishes, drink some water, or tidy up a bit. Those few quiet moments help me catch my breath so I can return refreshed and more eager than ever to enjoy the company of my people.
Most people just want someone to listen to them. When we pay attention to the overlooked person in the room and have a quiet conversation with them, they feel seen and heard. It's also nice to have follow-up conversations with repeat guests. Asking about something they mentioned during a previous visit shows that you remembered the conversation and that you care enough to enquire.
When we genuinely enjoy having people over, it helps our community feel welcome. Amazingly, those who have visited our home often end up staying much longer than they intended—not because of my hosting skills, but simply because there's so much joy in being together.
Hebrews 10:25 reminds us not to neglect the habit of meeting together. While gathering as a church is essential, opening our homes extends that fellowship, facilitates mutual encouragement, and deepens relationships.
Any veteran hosts out there? What are your go-to hosting hacks?
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Thank you for writing, Sheena. Such a simple yet profoundly helpful insight for may I say, one who is in the same boat as you when it comes to cooking and offering hospitality 🙂 But your article offers much grace. So thank you for writing.
Dear Lydia, thank you for the kind words. Glad to know I'm not the only one 🙂
Would love to have some of your tried and true recipes. This is where I get overwhelmed. I’m used to cooking only for two.
Dear Jennifer, my go-to meal for small gatherings is a simple chicken curry with ghee rice. Doubling or tripling a familiar recipe is a great way to get accustomed to cooking larger quantities. You can find recipes from some of our talented contributors here: https://www.indiaanya.com/category/recipes/.
Being part of your community, I must say, I never knew you were introverted, your home feels like a safe place we look forward to coming every Friday, where the best community we could ever have is. Thank you for being such a blessing
Thank you, dear Anila. It's such a blessing to host our little community. So grateful that God redeems our inadequacies and lets His grace shine through.
Chechi, the chai you make is the best, and you make the most amazing salsa—and so many other wonderful things. ❤️
But above everything else, we love the way you quietly celebrate others. You may not even realise it, but you have adjusted so many falling crowns and held them up as if they were your own.
You make people feel seen, celebrated and held, without ever making a fuss about it.
Oh Mona, that’s so kind of you… your words are such an encouragement. All glory to God who works through our imperfections for the good of His people ❤️