Over the past couple of years, my desire to eat healthy and get fit has been quite a struggle. I tried almost every new diet fad—the no carbs and no sweets diet, the structured meal plans, the calorie measuring. I installed the compulsory step tracker. I made ambitious promises about ‘sticking through it this time.’
For a while, my dearest friend and I were accountability partners, supposed to keep each other in check. The only thing we kept a check on was the new recipes we could try once this thing is over. I am glad that our relationship has not gone down the same path as our diet plans have!
I have given up more times than I can count.
For a while, the new plan would work. I would feel on top of the world and very proud of the tiny steps of progress. Then indulgence would take over, quickly followed by the vicious cycle of guilt and frustration, leaving me feeling miserable.
A lot of my time and energy were focused on finding the perfect diet, calculating the exact number of steps, or finding a fitness plan that actually worked.
It was exhausting to say the least.
But somewhere between the influencer advice and the endless research I was caught up in, I realised that this was not just a physical struggle… it extended far beyond into my mind space. My habits, my sense of worth, and even my identity were all wrapped in this warped version I created for myself.
In the midst of all my planning, striving, and curating, I realised I had left God out of the picture. But it seemed too trivial, too worldly, too personal and even selfish and foolish compared to everything that else that is happening in the world to ask Him to help me.
But one morning, in a moment of quiet honesty, I decided to pray about it. With an overwhelmed heart, I actually talked about it. My words tumbled out. I don’t think it made any sense as I told Him about my struggles, my oscillating will power, my desire to make healthy choices, and to develop the discipline to care for my body.
When I finished praying, it was like a load was lifted off me. No, the weight did not melt off magically nor did I start craving a water and boiled-veggies-only diet. But something had shifted inside me. This was no longer my burden because I had laid it before my Creator and my Maker. Irrespective of my outward appearances, I knew without a shadow of doubt that I was loved and treasured the way I was.
But I was also reminded that He made me the way I am. My body is not something I could just fix or reshape by myself. It was the temple of the Holy Spirit. It is my responsibility to take care of this body that He has given me, to steward it well.
A few days later, I found this footnote in my Bible on Genesis 18:14, "Is anything too hard for the Lord? The obvious answer is ‘Of course not!' This question reveals much about God. Make it a habit to insert your specific needs into the question: 'Is this day in my life hard for the Lord? Is this habit that I’m trying to break too hard for Him? Is the communication problem I’m having too hard for Him?' Asking the question this way reminds you that God is personally involved in your life and nudges you to ask for His power to help you.”
This was the timely reminder that I needed. I was no longer striving alone. I began to ask the Lord to help me make the right choices, to be committed to taking care of my body, not to binge eat or starve myself, according to my fluctuating state of mind.
Over time, I started to see that this journey was not just about losing weight—it was about learning to surrender, to be disciplined, and dependent on the Lord on an everyday basis. Inviting the Lord into my fitness journey made me realise that nothing in our lives is too trivial or insignificant to bring before Him. Not the habits we struggle with, nor the constant tug between the choices we want to make and the easy route, the thoughts that taunt us, the sense of self-worth and identity that oscillate between how I look and how I feel.
If it matters to me, it matters to Him.
The life lesson that I’m learning is to completely depend on Him and allow Him to work in me. Dependence on God is not passive, doing nothing, and expecting a change to just miraculously take place. It means allowing Him to actively work in me—shaping my thoughts, correcting my habits, and gently teaching me to trust Him rather than lean on my own limited understanding.
Truth be told, there are good days when I feel good about the progress and the discipline is real and consistent; there are difficult days when I feel like giving up altogether, and the old has crept in, wiping away any traces of the new. Despite the setbacks, I know that my Maker is at work in me.
Yes, there are certain physical goals that I hope to achieve, a certain weight I want to reach, and there is a desire to make healthy food choices. But beyond the outward transformation, He is at work in my heart, in my inward being, making me more and more like Him. That makeover is teaching me to become more reliant on Him.
As I surrender to Him, He is chiseling away the hardness of my heart, removing the burdens and anxieties that weigh me down, and strengthening me. He helps me choose love over anger and bitterness, to turn to His wisdom in my foolishness. He is at work in me. My prayer is that may it be more and more of Him in my life and less and less of myself.
The fitness journey and the faith journey have become an intertwined part of my walk with Him. I realise that both these aspects of my life are part of His plan—not just in strength, but in surrender.
I know I am in safe hands. I believe the One who began this good work in me is faithful to bring it to completion. He is not done with me yet.
And that makes all the difference.
Photo by Vitalii Pavlyshynets on Unsplash
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