I had always been an even-keeled person. That is, until perimenopause arrived.
It felt like overnight I had transformed into an unstable, emotional mess. Who was this person in my body I no longer recognised?
Plagued with low moods, unexplained crying, and bouts of anxiety—I felt like I was going crazy. Then there were the night sweats, brain fog, hair loss, and low energy. For about three years, it felt like dark storm clouds had covered the sky, and I could no longer see the sun.
I tried natural supplements, which I am sure gave some benefit, but they didn’t seem to make any noticeable difference.
Finally, I took myself off to the doctor, who I was told was the most senior gynaecologist in the state. It quickly became apparent that she had no framework for dealing with the emotional and psychological symptoms I was experiencing. She condescendingly declared that I was fine. I certainly didn’t feel fine.
It was a very lonely journey. With many of my local friends in different seasons of life, I found few people with whom I could openly and honestly share. And having never married, I also lacked the support of an understanding spouse.
But in God’s mercy, after several years of distress, the clouds parted and the sun burst through again. My body and mind finally returned to a place of peace and even keel.
There are many things I wish I knew then that I know now.
I wish I knew declining oestrogen can mess with a woman’s mind and body in so many different ways. I wish I knew that HRT (hormone replacement therapy) pills and patches are a safe option for most women and do not pose a high risk of cancer, as previously thought.
I wish I knew I didn’t have to suffer, that this painful journey wasn’t inevitable. But I did know that God was with me and he would get me through. It was a time of desperately clinging to him. Looking back, I can see that He was the one who carried me during those very difficult years.
For those of you in this season (or if it still lies ahead), let me share some things I learned:
Every woman’s journey through this season of life is distinctive. My sister’s experience was so different from mine. She struggled with frozen shoulder and vertigo, both common perimenopause symptoms.
Other friends battle with heart palpitations and skin rashes. Extreme mood fluctuations and anxiety are also very common. Regardless of the way your body responds to these hormonal changes, you don’t have to suffer alone. There are medical options you can try, lifestyle changes you can make, and community that can support you. And we always have a loving heavenly Father who walks with us and knows how much we can bear.
I wrote this poem when I officially arrived at menopause.
A woman’s body is a complex construct,
With so many hormones running amok!
Through puberty, babies and menopause,
Much grief these little hormones can cause.
Finally, in our 50s, a new day dawns,
Post menopause is the title we adorn.
This milestone we truly must celebrate,
No more monthly cycles to complicate!
So, call up your friends and raise a toast,
A new season to enjoy to the utmost!
I don’t know why we let such a significant event slip by quietly. I was so relieved and excited to make it through finally. And when we do finally pass through these hormonal rapids, let’s celebrate together God’s faithfulness and the dawning of a new season.
***If you have any questions, please comment below. A medical practitioner helping women going through perimenopause/menopause will respond to your questions.***
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