When I first saw this month’s theme—Repentance—I began thinking about the usual things: harsh words, selfish thoughts, moments of doubt, or disobedience. But the Holy Spirit convicted me of something I never expected.
It came during a moment of sweetness—while I was loving on my son. I was playing with him, singing songs, delighting in his laughter, giving him toys that made his eyes light up. I was being what the world might call a 'good mom'. Kind. Present. Gentle. Generous.
But in that very moment of tenderness, I felt a quiet nudge in my spirit: You’ve missed something.
It was true.
While I was giving Rehaan the best of my love and care, I wasn’t giving him what matters most—I wasn’t intentionally, consistently training him in the ways of the Lord.
Sure, we said bedtime prayers. Simple, sweet ones: 'Jesus, thank You for today. Keep Rehaan safe. Help him to know You. Amen'.
We read Bible stories and sang songs like 'Jesus Loves Me'. But did I pray over his heart? His future? His faith? Did I kneel in the quiet and lift him up with tears and intercession, asking God to shape him into a man after His own heart?
No.
Did I talk to him about the character of God beyond the pages of picture books? Did I make it a point every day to disciple him—to plant seeds of truth that could take root and grow?
No.
And that’s when the truth broke me: I was not just missing the mark. I was sinning.
I was failing in my most sacred responsibility—not as a working mother, not as a single mother, but as a Christian mother. God gave me Rehaan—not as a decoration in my life, but as a divine trust. 'Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward' (Psalm 127:3, ESV).
He knew my life—its rhythms, its storms, its solitude. He knew I would be tired. He knew I would often be overwhelmed. And still, He entrusted me with this little soul. 'Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace' (1 Peter 4:10, NIV).
But I was not being faithful. I had taken the role of steward lightly. And when that realisation dawned, I repented—deeply.
I repented for not being a watchwoman on the wall of my son’s life (Ezekiel 33:7). I repented for praying safe, shallow prayers instead of spiritual warfare. I repented for failing to model a life fully surrendered to Christ—one that could point Rehaan to the God I say I love.
Repentance isn’t just about admitting sin. It’s about turning around. It’s about returning to the path God intended. It’s about aligning our hearts with His again. 'Return to Me', declares the Lord of hosts, 'and I will return to you' (Zechariah 1:3, NASB).
So now, I am learning. Relearning. I’m learning that my first ministry is at home. I’m learning to pray before I parent—to seek God’s heart for my son before I speak into his life. I’m learning to open the Bible not just to read to Rehaan, but to live before him what it means to trust in Jesus. I’m learning to repent quickly, and parent humbly.
And in this repentance, I’ve found grace. Not shame. Not condemnation. Just grace that invites me to start again—because God is not done with me, or with Rehaan.
'His mercies are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness' (Lamentations 3:23, ESV).
So, what am I repenting of?
I’m repenting of giving my son everything but the one thing that truly matters—an anchor in Christ.
And from that place of repentance, I’m committing to build again.
With prayer.
With Scripture.
With intentionality.
With joy.
Because if I give my son Jesus, I’ve given him everything.
Photo by Arifur Rahman on Unsplash
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Indeed. And more so children need to be taught and to discuss with them God's word in whatever small wyas they understand.
In 2011 one pastor who visited India and was speaking with a gathering of rural pastors, mentioned how he taught and discussed the Word with his three sons. His youngest son was 6 yrs old then and was learning 1,2 and 3 John. Foundations if kept at an early age goes a long way in establishing their faith and trusting God more in small and big dealings of life.