My Dream and His Will

If I had a choice, I would live in a classroom. Not just for a day or two, but forever. No, I wouldn’t be taking exams, but I would be listening to lectures and learning new things. Whether I have to implement it or not, I just want to learn.

But right now being in a classroom isn't possible. I am a new mother to a darling seven-month-old boy. I know many mothers who are living the career and parenthood dream at the same time-- kudos to them! But I cannot do two things at a time, even though my husband disagrees on that front.

Don’t take me wrong, I never wanted to be a career woman with a big fat paycheck. I always knew I wanted to be involved in Christian ministry some way or the other. The only dream I did have though, was to go to seminary. To learn, to raise my kids there in the community and to have fellowship with the students there-- that was my dream.

After working for a prestigious firm for three years, I finally took the plunge the January before last and applied to Moody Bible Institute. Applications were sent, references were made, transcripts had reached them and I was working on getting a scholarship and one fine morning, I found out that I had a bun in my oven! Just when I was about to take off and live my dream, another dream happened.

The dreams of Moody and Chicago were gone with the wind. The news of pregnancy was not a complete surprise, though I had been hoping I wouldn’t get pregnant up until I will have finished my studies. Up until then I had been battling these two options in my mind. Seminary or baby. Baby or seminary. All along I was praying for God’s will. Everything seemed to be pointing towards seminary and that’s why I went ahead and dared to dream.

God knew both my dreams as I prayed for His will in my life! The dream of being an young(ish) mother and the dream of being in a seminary. And God answered one of those prayers, and boy oh boy, am I glad for the answer. I would give up anything in this entire world for the joy of being the mother to my baby. Are there challenges? Yes. There are times when I wish babies came with cognitive and speech skills and there are times when I just want to sleep without getting disturbed. But none of that makes it any less exciting!

After one and a half years of giving up my job to go to seminary I am finally in one as we recently moved south so my husband could attend, and I love being here. I love all the new things I am learning. I love the community. I love raising my child here. I love everything about the place God has brought us. I also love praying for my husband who is in the class studying while I am at the apartment learning to be a mother. Ironically, a husband who hates everything about a classroom is the one studying and I get to read and learn from all his books and assignments while not taking an exam.

As I look at all God has done, I can’t help but remember the verse, “And we know that for those who Love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. “ - Romans 8:28

God’s will was to give me both my dreams, just not the way I wanted it! I did ask for God’s will, didn’t I? And now I couldn't be happier!

Photo Credit: GreyLight Images via Flickr

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Susan Gordon

Susan Gordon is a Malayali married to Vivek, a Delhiite and now lives in Bangalore . She has a love of words and was an editor at Oxford University Press for three years. Now she spends her days as a full-time mum running behind her sons Liam and Ryan. If and when she gets time, she enjoys baking, going for walks, dreaming about her Pinterest alter-ego and reading blogs.

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