The day he asked me out, on 16th August 2012, he quoted these words to me,
“Wanna pack your bags, something small
Take what you need and we disappear
Without a trace we'll be gone, gone
The moon and the stars can follow the car
and then when we get to the ocean
We gonna take a boat to the end of the world
All the way to the end of the world
Oh, and when the kids are old enough
We're gonna teach them to fly
You and me together, we could do anything,
Baby
You and me together yes, yes”
I said yes, a few hours later, to a journey which took us two and a half years till the day we got married.
During that time, my husband and I quoted the words of many songs to each other. The above song, You and Me, is written and performed by Dave Matthews. There were other songs by the Dave Matthews Band that were special to us like Crash Into Me (my bridesmaids held the words “Sweet like candy to my soul, sweet you rock and sweet you roll, lost for you, I’m so lost for you” when they walked down the aisle, bringing tears to my soon-to-be husband's eyes).
Before we got married, there were many people involved in helping us navigate our relationship. From our parents (mine opposed the relationship at first, but it helped us take a stand on the values we held close to our heart – they love him now) to our spiritual mentors and truth tellers, and our beloved friends. The day we got married, that changed from being surrounded to being just “you and me”. From the moment moved into our apartment together after marriage, setting up our home, shopping for curtains and utensils, to making my first meal for him and fighting about silly things, it was all just him and me. We still had our family, mentors and friends around us. But when it came to making decisions and living life, sailing on those seas, it was just him and me.
At the end of our first year of marriage our friends asked us how it felt and what we had learned. My husband promptly answered “you need patience to calm the stormy seas”. I know he was referring to how challenging marriage had been. Our first year had its share of fights, tears and cold war days (mostly because I like throwing tantrums as a means to get attention). We did manage to have fun despite our disagreements though. We went on many memorable trips, from a small camping trip we took, to our honeymoon, to a surprise birthday gift – concert tickets to watch Dave Matthews Band live!
Our second year was better than the first, filled with laughter as we grew in our friendship. We went on a trip to New York where we went kayaking on the Hudson River. Together, my husband and I navigated the choppy waters of the river. It epitomised the song “You and Me”. As I stared at the horizon and knew that this man was it – till the end of our life in this world. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
In the past year or so I have come to recognise my husband as the captain of this ship. This boat we’re on is sailing all the way to the end of our lives on earth. While we can do anything, we have chosen to include the great navigator who watches us through the skies and stars above, who is present with us in every storm as we sail along. While it may seem that it is just the “two of us together” this beautiful journey has been made more beautiful by the fellow travellers on the sea – in boats of their own, our mentors, friends and family for example, who cheer us on constantly, and cry and laugh with us!
A few weeks ago, we celebrated our second-year anniversary, and next month it’ll be 5 years since we first met. Looking back, I realise that when we spend time alone, either at home, watching a movie, reading a book, or eating a meal together, or when we travel, it’s been just my husband and me for the last two years and it’s been the most beautiful time.
Now our boat is preparing to welcome our first child, and like Dave sings, “When the kids are old enough, we’re gonna teach them to fly”. In one of the concert versions of the song Dave beautifully changes the lyrics of the song to sing “When the kids are old enough they will teach us to fly”. I really want to be able to teach them to fly – out of our nest into seeing and conquering the world. But I also hope that our kids will teach us to be better than what we are! Our parents teach us so much in this journey that we forget how much they learn from us.
The course of the journey is changing, with travellers joining us in the boat, but through the road bumps and the stormy seas (which I am told multiply as the family expands) – all I can hope for is that with the help of the Great Navigator and keeper of the wind, sea, sun and sky, “Its going to be you and me, all the way to the end of the world.”
I leave you with the rest of the words of the song, which I love, hold and treasure close to my heart, as it reminds me of how far we’ve come, and how much more there is left to go –
“You and I, we're not tied to the ground
Not falling but rising like rolling around
Eyes closed above the rooftops
Eyes closed, we're gonna spin through the stars
Our arms wide as the sky
We gonna ride the blue all the way to the end of the world
To the end of the world
Oh, and when the kids are old enough
We're gonna teach them to fly
You and me together, we could do anything, Baby
You and me together yes, yes
We can always look back at what we did
All these memories of you and me baby
But right now it's you and me forever girl
And you know we could do better than anything that we did
You know that you and me, we could do anything
You and me together, we could do anything, Baby
You and me together yeah, yeah
Two of us together, we could do anything, baby
You and me together yeah, yeah
Two of us together yeah, yeah
Two of us together, we could do anything, baby
The sun is falling
Till it leaves the end of the world”
And so, Ben, the captain of our ship, I can’t wait to take this boat all the way to the end of the world, and no matter how many children and grandchildren come our way, till that last sunset, I hope that it’s always “you and me, together”.
Photo Credit : Unsplash
Aww such a sweet post, Rosh! It made me tear up; with happiness of course! Or was it the hormones? 😉 XX
Haha those hormones have made me randomly break out into tears too. Thanks you gorgeous mama!
Such a beautiful post Roshni, wishing you lots of love n best wishes on your journey.
Thank you Nitya ! 🙂
Lovely Rosh. I simply love your honesty and the way you express yourself!
Thank you Madhu! This was a post straight from my heart. 🙂
Congratulations Ben and Roshni! This is such great news!
Thanks Janice! 😀